Select Page

Laurie Flew to Dallas – 5 Days of Survival

by | May 20, 2018 | Random Ravings | 0 comments

Setting the stage…

So my wife Laurie went on a trip to Dallas, TX and left me at home with my two sons, Harrington and Liam, and our three dogs, Tess (Beagle Mix), Wiggles (Poodle Mix), and Jake (Australian Shepard) and I was also dog sitting Luna, my Sarah and Alyson’s dog.

What follows is my daily facebook posts consolidated into a blog post.

Day 1 – Laurie Flew to Dallas

 

8:36 am

Harrington missed the bus.

I am out of coffee creamer.

Send Help.

3:55 pm

Tess just threw up what looks like a month’s worth of food in the middle of my bed.

Day 2 – Laurie Flew to Dallas

 

7:57 am

It’s not even 8. Jake and Luna are playing non-stop and are very loud about it. Not to mention, when Luna runs upstairs and decides she wants to come back down 2 seconds later but can’t… guess who has to go bring her down? I do. I do, like three times in 20 minutes.

And then there is Wiggles. Wiggled who can’t poop one time… but 38 times in quarter size installments dispersed evenly throughout the yard.

And Tess… Who doesn’t need to go out at all… until all the other dogs are in. Then… she has to go out.

 

9:31 am

Bus record dropped from 66% to 50% after a wardrobe debate.

Liam, who wanted to err on the side of caution, made a quick change that wasn’t quick enough and the bus left us in the dust.

I forgot to get creamer.

 

2:37 pm

Today’s forecast: Wet Magma. And do I have air conditioning in my Ford Explorer?

No.

No, I do not.

Day 3 – Laurie flew to Dallas.

 

3:30 am

Tess: I have to pee.

Me: Tess, I let you out before we went to bed.

Tess: I’m old dammit. Tell me you haven’t had to pee in the middle of the night!

Me: Fine.

Jake: Why am I the only one in a prison? (We have a crate for Jake or he would chew us up at night)

Me: Because you are a puppy Jake and you like it in there.

Jake: Well, need to pee too. Luna, I miss you.

Luna: Sock… I need a sock… (Luna has a sock fetish)

Wiggles: I want to try humping something. I think I figured out how to make it work again! (Wiggles is a neutered pervert)

Tess: I need to pee.

Me: Omg you guys. Tess, I will take you out to pee. Jake, fine you can come too.

Wiggles: I can try to pee too.

Luna: Sock… I to want to pee.

After five minutes of running around, Pee happens. Jake and Luna never leave each other’s side and Jake pees on her tail while she is peeing.

Fifty Shades of Yellow.

Gross.

Sleep is done for me this night/morning.

 

8:35 am

Got the kids on the bus like a Boss.

 

5:51 pm – Dead Birds

First off… Relax, they didn’t die on my watch. In fact, they likely died a decade(ish) ago.

After letting the dogs in from there yard release play time, I found brown (I pray to God it was mud. It was mud.) On not one, but all six of the couch cushions. Nothing on the floor… but on the cushions alone.

So, I stripped the covers off and there was a chicken’s worth of feathers floating around in them… and 35 cents. Only 35 cents.

Anyhow, covers are washing and I did a complete vacuum of the couch!

Also… missing matches to your socks? Look in your couch.

Day 4 – Laurie flew to Dallas.

 

6:53 am

While he didn’t destroy it as much as he has my last three hats… (Cleveland Indians, Pittsburgh Steelers, and the Pittsburgh Pirates)

…it was mortally wounded. I heard the munching as I was working. I just… didn’t know what it was and didn’t bother to look up. Till finally it just sounded… destructive.

I think I actually heard my hat call out to me, “…help…”

Oh well.

Speak louder next time.

To the trash with you!

6:58 am (Jake’s Entry)

You’d think he’d learn after three times not to leave his hat on the floor. It’s not my fault. Chewing is in my job description.

10:06 am

I know I am not the only one that has done this so if you all deny it… well… there isn’t much I can do about it.

Have you ever seen liquid on the floor and you aren’t sure what it is? So you wipe it up with a paper towel, look at it and then smell it to see if you can identify it? Well, I do.

Today there was a pool of something on the floor. It was clear. Not yellow… So I got some paper towels and got on my hands and knees and wiped it up. I looked it and it was clear. So, I go to sniff it.

Apparently, as soon as I got down on my hands and knees, Jake thought it meant I wanted to play. If any of you know Jake, you know he likes to just… run into you. Its like he has tunnel vision.

Anyhow, as I go to sniff the paper towel, Jake plows right into the back of my hand smashing the soggy, gobby mess into my face. I chloroformed myself.

I am 98% sure it was Jake slobber.

I am 100% sure it was gross.

10:41 pm

As I was cleaning up the house, I asked Liam to pack his lunch for the field trip tomorrow.

Besides it being 50% cookies… I think its hilarious how he crammed a Dr. Pepper in a plastic baggie.

11:35pm

A clean house.

Day 5 – Laurie flew to Pittsburgh

And fell asleep. 
😊

All is well.

Laurie and Robb go Fly Fishing at Bighorn River Montana

Traveling to our Fly Fishing Trip in Montana is half the fun! At the Miss Mayfly event in Ligonier last weekend, we were lucky enough to win a Fly FIshing excursion with a bonafide, certified, Montanian Outfitter for 2 days!  Laurie and I talked about...

The Subtle Art of Dine and Dash… Nearly.

Our story takes place at the Wagon Wheel, a great family diner in Delmont, PA right off of rt22. Driving home from an estate sale, Liam asked if we could eat somewhere.  Being right near Delmont, Laurie thought of the Wagon Wheel right off the bat and the...

Gone Fishin’ & Almost Became Bait at Laurel Hill Trout Farm

With summer here, the boys have been asking to go fishing.  Coupled with not having our license and feeling a bit lazy, we only had one option, the Laurel Hill Trout Farm.  If you haven't been there, this is a great place to go where you know beyond a...

Laurie Flew to Dallas – 5 Days of Survival

Setting the stage... So my wife Laurie went on a trip to Dallas, TX and left me at home with my two sons, Harrington and Liam, and our three dogs, Tess (Beagle Mix), Wiggles (Poodle Mix), and Jake (Australian Shepard) and I was also dog sitting Luna, my Sarah and...

Why we named our chickens Marge.

We got Chickens.  We named them, "Marge". The story started about 3 or 4 years ago when we were driving back from someplace or another and happened to pass an Amish farm with a sign, "Chickens for Sale." On a whim, we stopped in. We ended up with ten chicks- ten...

Bootstrap Marketing for Small Business

Written for the frustrated business owner. This article will help you get a game plan together for your small business marketing efforts.  Its designed to be a self-start guide.  If you are looking to hire an agency to manage your marketing, be prepared to...

Buck Season 2017 – 8 Point Whitetail Harvest

While I come from a family of hunters and trappers in the little town of Ligonier in western Pennsylvania, at a young age I never really had an interest in hunting. I think it was more of a patience thing looking back. This year, with the nice late November weather, I...

Robb Decided to Make Paella

Paella Ingredients Chicken 2 legs 2 thighs 4 wings Paella 1 tbsp smoked paprika 2 tbsp fresh cut oregano 2 cups saffron rice 2 cups chicken broth 1/2 tsp  salt 1 tsp black pepper 2 Tbsp olive oil Three cloves chopped garlic 1 tsp red pepper flakes 1 bay...

Shed Snake Encounter

So I went out to our shed to see if I had a cat crate in there and when I opened the door... a little mouse desperately jumped out between my legs and ran off! I never had that happen before and when I looked down... I saw this guy slithering around an old walking...

Sudden Honey Bee Swarm

Just a day in the life of a Luther. I was helping my brother by taking some video of a few of Queen honey bee cells (He is breeding queens) when I noticed a whole lot of activity around his garage.     My brother is a beekeeper (among other things) and has a small...